October 19, 2004
the visitor
I don't know what is happening to me
I don't know what to do
I'm sitting here, in my bed
coming unscrewed
thinking about the power of depression
thinking about my own self worth
the summer's coming quickly
after this time of rebirth
a day can be
a terrifying proposition
the bus to school
surviving the pool
my face is hot, my hands are cold
all I feel is my surface
I know that I am radiating
an ultraviolet purpose
you've got to cry yourself to better
you've got to cry yourself to better
you've got to cry yourself to better
you've got to better yourself to cry
I feel this weekend looming
like an irrepressibly tall asterisk
like a building on fire
with pieces falling off
last night I got a taste
a taste of what I fear
a taste of what I want
it could not be less clear
it tasted like the ocean
it tasted like the wind
it made my mind overheat
to the wall with a tack, I am pinned
I've got to write myself to better
I've got to write myself to better
I've got to write myself to better
I've got to better myself to write
too many thoughts are floating through my head
too many words are trapped in my hands
too many rocks are filling my whole mouth
too many hours are insisting on this day
too many lights are shining on my brain
too many stones are stuck in my shoe
too many notes are wanting to be released
too much pain I have locked away
wantingandnotwantingandwantingandnotwantingandwantingandnotwanting
your smile made the ocean
a suspension of golden eagles
backs rippling in the sun
feathers holding to the wind
the cold air has frozen
the diamond on the drawer
I am photographing my life
swimming further from the shore
it's two o'clock in the afternoon
and I'm still still still lying here
the fan hasn't stopped spinning
the walls haven't moved
they haven't moved in
in to compact me
to turn me into a little fleshy cube
easily disposable
from where did you originate
who invited you out to play?
it feels more and more like
a song a day will keep you away.
a song a day will keep you away.
now I can get up;
the house is warm.
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Posted by halsey at October 19, 2004 10:47 AM