August 03, 2005
my true rockiness
Download: Pretending To Not Exist
I wrote the lyrics to this song this past winter while I was on a walk in the woods behind my house right after one of those huge snowstorms we had. I was the first person in the woods that night, so I was breaking trail the whole time. The moon was bright so I didn't need a flashlight and everything was totally quiet with the muffling effect of the snow.
As with much of what I write, the inspiration for this one came from a split-second image I encountered. I guess I was just trying to re-create it in words because it was so remarkable.
I forgot to bring paper and a pen, so as I was writing the words in my head, I was getting more and more nervous that I would forget them before I could write them down. I probably did forget some, but replaced them with others when I got back to the house. It all came out pretty much at once with only a few edits happening along the way. This only works for me when I am still in the moment; still have the feeling in me; still have the catalytic image firmly lodged in my head. I feel very lucky when this sort of thing happens. It isn't often, but I do whatever I can to take advantage when it does.
So what's the poem about anyway?
I'm not really sure, to be honest.
You really like those woodwinds, don't you?
When did you record the voices?
I recorded some at my cd release party in Portland, ME, and some at my cd release party in Boston. And one straggler happened a couple weeks ago when I realized I needed another. I had no idea what I was going to do with the recordings initially, but I felt there was something about the words that would make for a good song, so I asked people to read them anyway. I like collecting and adding to my coffers so I have lots of choices as I enter into a new song.
Did your readers have trouble reading any lines in particular?
Interestingly, over half of the readers read the line that became the title of the song incorrectly (this is not the title of the poem). It is amazing how the forces of socialization and correct grammar can overcome words written in black and white right in front of you. Yes, I actually meant to write 'pretending to not exist', not 'pretending not to exist'. What a difference.
Do you like whispering?
it's a secret...